Of all the Catfish and the Bottlemen songs I thought I’d write about Cocoon really isn’t the one I first thought of. It’s definitely not a bad song, there truly isn’t a single Catfish song I don’t like, it’s just not my favorite. (Expect another post later, dedicated entirely to the genius of Van McCann, “I’m not the type to call you up drunk, but I’ve got some lies to tell” deserves an essay all on it’s own.) Anyways, I’ve been on a Catfish kick lately and Cocoon has really been resonating with me this time. Specifically the chorus.
“Fuck it if they talk, fuck it if they try and get to us. Cause I’d rather go blind than let you down.”
It seems like lately there’s been a lot of people rooting for me to lose. Well, maybe not a lot of people. Maybe only a few, but there’s definitely some. Normally I wouldn’t care, actually normally I love the extra incentive to do well, but lately I’ve found myself meeting this kind of hatred with an extra tinge of annoyance that I’m not really used to feeling. The main thing I hear is that people are expecting my relationship to fail. I’ve been dating the same guy for a year and half now, we live together, he’s easily my best friend, and I really don’t see it ending anytime in the future. And while I know I shouldn’t care somehow I’m annoyed that there are people that don’t have anything better to do than hope that two people who are presently happy will be unhappy in the future.
But of course dear Van McCann is there for me, as he always is. And I’m reminding myself again and again that fuck it if they talk. Honestly. It’s spring, the semester is almost over, my garden is shooting up, my grades are good, I haven’t skipped a workout in weeks, I feel better than I probably have in years (literally, it’s like everything is coming together, I finally know what it’s like to hit my stride) so fuck it if they talk. I’d rather go blind than let you down. I’m good.